endangered species?
is chivalry dead? so being a woman of the new millennium (well, sort of...) id like to think that im independent, and strong, and capable, and all that jazz...and don't have the need for those antiquated notions that our male counterparts must continue to do all of those chivalrous/masculine things that they were once expected to do...but i do.
when i was younger, and really didn't have exposure to many things, when a boy did things like held the door open, or led you through a crowd (rather than making you go first), offering their coat or sweater when its cold...i would think to myself 'wow, that's really nice, what a good guy...' but now, being older and i don't if im all that much wiser, it's come to be expected...i don't know if ill notice if a guy will hold the door open anymore, but i definitely seem to notice if he doesn't...on the scale of things, id say that i fall a bit more on the traditional side, and though it shouldn't make a difference whatsoever, those little things resonate in my head...maybe ive been spoiled by my male friends, that are overtly concerned and do all those little things that i have come to take for granted, (i.e.. walking you to your car, carrying whatever you may have in your hands, having you walk on the inside part of the sidewalk), and i don't really give it a second thought anymore. but it surprises me what an impact those types of things have. for example, when i come across a new guy - friend, coworker, grocery store bagger, whatever - they get placed into two separate categories: those that i would want to set up with my friends, and those i would not. the guy could be perfectly nice, funny, good looking, whatever, but if he lacks that fundamental 'female nuturing' attribute, i almost automatically categorize him as 'one of those guys'...i don't think it's a learned attribute, they either have it or they don't...and i think it mostly resides in those guys who have older sisters (now that's a gross generalization, but for the large majority, i think that it rings true)...its second nature for some guys, and girls, those with that innate characteristic are definitely keepers...some may say, "ahh, that doesn't matter!"...having experienced both extremes on the spectrum, trust me, it matters.
"Did I ask too much, more than a lot?
You gave me nothing, now it's all I got.
We're one, but we're not the same.
Well, we hurt each other, then we do it again."
c.po from the cul-de-sac
per special request: chi chi & homi chillin' in the dikhi, bff (c.po - you owe me for this plug) ![]()
they're hung.
They're hung. 
living in berkeley, you would see shoes hanging from telephone wires everywhere. it was common. i never really knew what they were there for, and always just assumed that it was the result of drunken debauchery - some kid getting wasted, taking off their shoes, tossing them over the telephone line, thinking it was funny, walking home barefoot, and then wondering a week later why they have that strange fungal growth on their big toe. but due to recent discussions, i have been enlightened by some other explanations of what these hanging shoes represent:
1) it is representative of a drug dealer's 'turf' - once they have found a good spot, this is how they mark their territory
2) it is gang related, and represents someone that has just been initiated into a crew (first order of business - jack someone's air force ones)
3) it's a symbol of someone's deflowering - yes, they've just done it for the first time, and they want to share their joy with the world by tossing their vans out the window
what does all of this mean? the truth is out there.
"Eyes wide open always hoping for the sun
And she'll sing her song to anyone that comes along.
Crooked little smile on her face tells a tale of grace
That's all her own.
Spinning, laughing, dancing to her favorite song
A little girl with nothing wrong and she's all alone..."
a rose by any other name never smelled as sweet...
nicknames.
they are the best! i love calling someone something, that no one else really understands the meaning behind. it's your own private little joke, that you can smile about every time you say it. it doesn't have to make complete sense, or mean all that much, but it's special, and it's yours.
i have different groups of friends that call me different things, and tho i might complain about how ugly the name is or that im embarrased that i sometimes turn around when i hear someone yell out 'short bus!' (not that i hear that being yelled out all that often). i might not express it all the time, but nicknames, i love you, and though some of you are played with more often, i love you all just the same.
random act of nonsense: i recently moved into a new apartment (yay!), and along with that comes the normal moving, putting up decorations, putting together lamps - here lies the problem. me and electronics are not the best of friends. a few weeks ago, i was attempting to assemble one of those lantern lamps that hangs from the ceiling, my friend had constructed a make-shift switch that connected to the wires inside the chord (thanks for nuthin, chubaca!=), following me? well, some of the wires had emerged from the chord and were just sticking out. it was nighttime, so i had the wires close up to my face so that i could see them properly. i plugged in the light, the wires somehow caught fire, and sparks were flying off of it...i felt heat on my face, but i was quite proud of the fact that i didnt scream and diffused the situation quite calmly. Later that night, im getting ready to go out, look in the mirror, and noticed that half of my eyebrow has singed off. i touched it and what was formerly my eyebrow hair, fell to the counter in the form of ash. i was horrified. well, i picked up the pieces of my life (or in this case, my eyebrow) and moved on. now, my eyebrow hair has been growing back - but it is coming in at a weird direction...is it possible to have brow cowlicks? i can answer that - yes! i dont know how much longer i can pull off these aaliyah-inspired bangs that cover half my face, it's beginning to effect my vision. The worst part - this is not the first time i have burned a part of myself, or the second, or the third...
"I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say. I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be. And if I had to walk the world, I'd make you fall for me, I promise you, I promise you I will..."
hi, i'm supriya, and i am an e-mauler.
so, for some reason, a reason unbeknownst to me, i always seem to be on the tail end of things. everyone seems to like something, or be doing something really fun or cool...i see it, i hear about it, im just not interested in it...weeks, months, years pass, and then all of a sudden, i think to myself hey, i want to do that too! everyone, by this point, is pretty much over it, but i just now think that it's the best thing ever...perhaps it's because of my non-committal tendencies, perhaps i am anti-trend, and like to think that i am somewhat the non-conformist type, when in all actuality i am a conformist - but just extremely late.
ok, that preface may not make much sense, but it is all in reference to the fact that i have now joined the ranks of the online ramblers, i think i was pushed to the brink simply because:
a) i tend to like to talk a lot
b) i like to write
c) i am an e-mauler at work, and ill be a martyr and spare my friends the wrath that is my rambling emails.
d) i have a physical diary that i havent seen/written in since college - i cant find it. i think my dad has it. wonderful. and knowing him, he has probably discovered this site already. hi dad!
e) this is my attempt at rage against the machine (the machine, being work, because we have restricted access to most sites, so when i come across something accessible that is remotely interesting i devour it...)
"they love to tell you, stay inside the lines...but something's better on the other side..."
