down and out

I feel like the theme of the last few weeks has been overwhelming disappointment. As I get older, I definitely feel that I get angry less and less and disappointed more and more…which is probably a worse sentiment to have. Having expectations of people that you think you know on a fairly strong level, and then simply being let down. I haven’t quite come to the conclusion of whether it’s better to simply have no expectations of people and being constantly surprised if they do end up coming through or actually placing value on a relationship and thinking that people will reciprocate your value by their follow-through. I’ve always been a big advocate of the “do unto others as you would like done to you” mentality…

But it just seems as though the better/safer route to go is to truly understand the nature of people in your life, and to what degree you can place them within the appropriate segment:

Gold: those that will be there, thick and thin. They will carry your deepest secrets to the grave. You call them when you need to cry. You call them when you need to vent. You call them when the most amazing thing has just happened…and they will be there…always.

Silver: they come in and out of your life. They might not be there for the day to day, but when it comes down to it, they will be there.

Paper: whimsical and inconsistent. they don’t carry much weight in your life. They are helpful every now and then, but for the most part you can go on with or without them.

Lead: those people that constantly let you down. There are some occasions that they serve some purpose, but for the most part you find yourself wondering “what’s the point of carrying this burden?” you find yourself wanting to shed this weight far more than you want to carry it.

Simply being cognizant of the fact that there are different hierarchies of relations and you cant have linear expectations for each, is somewhat enlightening.

That’s my cynicism for the day...

"And we could've been happy.
What a piteous thing,
A hideous thing was tainted by the rest,
But it won't get any harder,
And I hope you'll find your way again. "

"if you wait too long for the perfect moment...
the perfect moment will pass you by..."