muse, ak.

so if it isnt already blatantly obvious, I LOVE music. I may not be as up-to-date on current artists or know about the up-and-comers as I once was, but I do know that silence drives me insane – and music is my cost-effective non-pharmaceutical remedy. I know that if I hear a certain song, it can take me to another time, another place, when I was another person…and for that 3 minute interval, I find myself completely enveloped in that moment, caught in a whirlwind of sights and sounds – 3, 4, 12 years ago. The soundtrack of my life is quite robust, and there is no end in sight…consisting of that hip hop song that we choreographed impromptu dances to, to “our” song, to what was playing in the car when I got my driver’s license, to the song that everytime I hear – I cant help but cry, to the song i will play on my wedding day…

there are different groupings of songs that find their way into the arsenal of my memory bank – those that ignite those memories…and then there are those that ive never heard before, and when I hear for the first time, stop me in my tracks, make me sit down and just listen. most of these tend to be the sad, melancholy songs of love lost and broken hearts…that I somehow always manage to think that the song was written just for me, about my experience, about my heart….unfortunately, more and more, I find myself in that latter situation, hearing those forlorn melodies and thinking that they are speaking to just me…

my most recent obsession, how does she know me?...

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images
And when you left, you kissed my lips
You told me you would never, ever forget
These images
I'd never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me
I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that
Easy to walk right in and out
Of my life?