red state.

my new home, doesn't look THAT bad, right?

broken

i was talking to bombi...and she was telling me about something called the equilibrium theory (if i recall correctly)...and the premise is basically - when things are going well, consistently, for a long period of time - there has to be some horrible event to the balance the forces...and i guess thats what happened with me...things had been going far too right (with the jobs offers and being happy and all) - something just had to go very wrong. and it did...

being a libra (whose symbol is the balance) - things always even out for me...like in that one seinfeld episode - im kind of like 'even steven'. well sort of...

i still cant sleep. wonder when my good thing is going to happen?

"cause I'm broken when I'm open
and I don't feel like I am strong enough
cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
and I don't feel right when you're gone away"

the race

3 offers, 1 pending. things are good. where to go?

san francisco...my long lost love
city of angels...my soulmate
cincinatti...umm, the long shot?

but recently having been told that my decisions will effect whether a classmate will get their first offer, things are hard. a bit hard to explain the situation - but it's tough. taking yourself out of the race, in the off chance that you might win, so that someone else on your team can have a chance to win, and them winning isn't even a certainty...does that make sense?

ahhhhh. what to do?!

"The new day dawns
And I am practicing my purpose once again
It is fresh and it is fruitful if I win
but if I lose, ooh, I don't know
I'll be tired but
I will turn and I will go
Only guessing 'til I get there then
I'll know
Ohh, I will know"