25 years

rewind to october 21, 1997: my 18th birthday.
it was my freshman year at berkeley, my first birthday away from home. i wake up in my dorm room to the phone ringing - it was my uncle from new jersey calling to wish me a happy birthday, i listen to him talk, as my mind wanders and i think to myself cool, this day is going to be great, filled with phone calls from friends across the country, i can walk the 2 miles to the 7-11 and buy a lotto ticket then see a rated-R movie, and everyone will be super nice to me, yay!...i look outside - and it's pouring rain, which doesn't bother me because i love the rain. i stare at my roommate fast asleep - eager for her to wake up and wish me a happy birthday - she is one of my best friends from high school - of course she knows it ' s my birthday. her alarm goes off, she slaps it off and groggily says 'hey...its raining." - uhhhh...is that all you have to say to me? - i think to myself.

i open the door to the hallway - and just outside the door sits a pumpkin with balloons attached - from my parents and sister. i get ready for class and put on my fanciest outfit - i am an adult now after all. i had several classes with friends that also went to high school - so they of course would remember. wrong. the hours passed - not a single well wish. as the day got longer, my mood got more sour. i cant believe that none of my 'friends' remembered. by the end of the day, i was in a horrible mood. my last class, english 1b, was with a group of my friends/floor mates - and we always walked back to the dorm together for dinner. i walk off pretty quickly from the group and one of the girls say "sup, you look nice today - why are you so dressed up?" i snap back "it's my friggin birthday!" and storm off. (this behavior, at that time, was pretty out of character for me - i was a VERY happy person usually) i go to my room and sulk on my bed thinking about how my friends suck and how i wish i was back at home...

a series of knocks come at the door - most of which are soft and demure, reluctant to enter the wrath that is my temper (which when pushed to the limits can be pretty brutal, as most of you know =)...my friends enter the room - mostly in pairs, bearing presents, and cards, and cake...everyone piles into the room...as they recount the fact that they had planned for a surprise gathering of everyone that night - but because they thought that i was about to kill myself - they were forced to call an emergency gathering hours before the original time - and asked that everyone haul ass over to my place because i was having a breakdown. everyone came, it was perfect. my boyfriend at the time, came and we went on a walk through campus at the end of the night - and it ended in what is nothing less than 'typical supriya behavior' - me tripping on some twig, falling down - with blood running down my leg...him looking down at me, saying "what have i gotten myself in to..."

yes, i am a HUGE spaz at birthdays - most of you know that - as many of you have been shot the look of death when not remembering the correct date. everyone deserves to have the best birthday - it's their excuse to be spoiled and loved, right?
ok, this is the longest blog entry EVER. but in closing - thank you - it's been a wonderful day and it's only noon. love you.
p.s. dingu: thanks for the beautiful flowers!

"I drank too much last night, got bills to pay,
my head just feels in pain
I missed the bus and there'll be hell today,
I'm late for work again
And even if I'm there,
they'll all imply that I might not last the day
And then you call me and it's not so bad,
it's not so bad
and I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you is having the best day of my life..."